"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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