2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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