Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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