if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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