I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i drank out of a bidet.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
