there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
