Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
