All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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