Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize