Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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