what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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