Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.

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  (843): I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's. http://tfl.nu/1kcz
  Replies (21) Good night (895) Bad night (1405)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani

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  (636): I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani http://tfl.nu/u2tc
  Replies (6) Good night (846) Bad night (1424)
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  (516): View more from New York

  so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me

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  (516): so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me http://tfl.nu/fxoz
  Replies (12) Good night (662) Bad night (3412)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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  (254): The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro" http://tfl.nu/wdu7
  Replies (12) Good night (799) Bad night (3092)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck

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  (804): dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck http://tfl.nu/zlj8
  Replies (46) Good night (1225) Bad night (7288)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

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  (941): I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass. http://tfl.nu/wkll
  Replies (6) Good night (3666) Bad night (1120)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...

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  (412): New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move... http://tfl.nu/y03w
  Replies (12) Good night (3278) Bad night (957)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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  (518): Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat. http://tfl.nu/lwgj
  Replies (9) Good night (623) Bad night (3449)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing

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  (404): I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing http://tfl.nu/nbfy
  Replies (25) Good night (865) Bad night (1445)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.

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  (732): you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic. http://tfl.nu/b9sf
  Replies (5) Good night (2056) Bad night (661)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.

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  (706): He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories. http://tfl.nu/ce15
  Replies (15) Good night (2115) Bad night (546)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.

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  (205): ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot. http://tfl.nu/jxup
  Replies (8) Good night (1442) Bad night (574)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

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  (618): I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/aen5
  Replies (4) Good night (1494) Bad night (269)
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  (530): View more from California

  I wish to strangle

  (310): View more from California

  whoa there darth vader

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  (530): I wish to strangle (310): whoa there darth vader http://tfl.nu/ugge
  Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (263)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.

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  (361): My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life. http://tfl.nu/e22l
  Replies (19) Good night (237) Bad night (1067)

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