No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Are we still banned from the library?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.