I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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