Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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