dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.