Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?