So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?