Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
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You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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