This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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