Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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