I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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