i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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