If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
