just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
