I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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