she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
