i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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