meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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