hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize