and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.