I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year