at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying