They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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