I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
