we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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