I accidentally burped into my bong.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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