So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
