Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize