S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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