She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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