I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
