Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
