I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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