I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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