Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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