OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
