She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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