AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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