Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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