Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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