you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
