She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This house was built for laser tag.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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