I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize