Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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