went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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