we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
