Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
