Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Never let your siblings swipe right.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
