What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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