he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
