eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize