I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The adults are the big ones right?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
