when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize