...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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