I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
