I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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